Jealousy

Do not be jealous, I am sure you could make a picture just as good as I have if you had the same camera as I do.

No really, stop fuming, I know, I am a better photographer than you, but I worked hard for it so you really neednot be jealous.

Projection is always fun :) At once drawing attention to the fact that I am a good photographer and establishing the fact that (in my mind) you care enough about it to get jealous and upset over it.

It is always annoying, being accussed of something intangible, as it is hardest to disprove. If you say you are not jealous you are just in denial, and if you admit it you confirm the projectionist's theory. It is a win-win situation for him.

Jealousy is supposed to actually be conductive to the growth of romantic relationship, as it is a way of showing that the person you are with means something to you, to a certain extent anyway. You can be pretty sure the significant(ly jealous) other is overdoing it when he starts riffling through your emails, letters and *gasp* your text messages in your mobile.

A lot of jealous people express their jealousy by accusing others of some transgression, of a breach of the rules of the relationship, I am not saying they are always wrong, but the pathologically insecure people, who constatly doubt themselves and through it, doubt others. As people mostly use themselves as a measure to judge others, they project their own desires to break the rules onto them.

Pathologically jealous people often have low self esteem, constantly worrying that their partner will leave them and thus feel the need to control them, to prevent them from leaving. Paradoxically, their love and desire often causes the relationship to break up, as partners soon tire of the jealous person's intimations and accussations of debauchery, rude 'jokes' about activities with friends of the opposite gender and constant doubts and suspicions.

The problem is, that when the relationship breaks up, the jealous person feels validated in their suspicions as the bitch/bastard surely left him for the other woman/guy/goat.

It is important to always be honest with yourself, and to examine your jealousy for any signs of desire to dominate your partner, what is the point of having a puppet, it might satiate your ego but surely not for long. And if you are in relationship with such a jealous control freak, do them a favour and dump them, they might reconsider (unlikely) their ways and seek help for what truly bothers them.